In a class given to would-be speakers, the focus was on stage fright and how it feels to be at the front of the room with so many eyes watching. Public speaking remains one of the top fears that men and women have. Even though I have been in front of audiences of different sizes, it is still uncomfortable for me; I'm stepping outside my comfort zone when I push the "go" button for a Facebook Live, but I do it. The thought of being laughed at, judged, ridiculed, or humiliated is unfathomable for most of us.
During this class, the teacher shared with the class of speakers that no matter what they do to prepare...no matter how much attention they pay to detail...no matter how many hours they practice...no matter how polished their speeches, how great looking their clothes, or charismatic their presence, ten percent of the audience will not like them. Ten percent.
10 people out of 100
100 people out of 1,000
1,000 people out of...
Can you love others if you don’t love yourself? Nope. Along the same lines, how can you expect other people to love you if you don’t love yourself? You can’t. Sadly, people do this all the time. They wait to be loved to be validated and when they don’t feel validated by outside sources, they don’t feel love and in turn - don’t love others well.
What a vicious cycle.
The long-overused cliché about putting your oxygen mask on before helping others is a prime example of how important it is to love yourself before you love others. Without the vital air, you can’t be of genuine service to those depending on you because you are starved for oxygen. If you don’t have love flowing into your heart, it is difficult for it to flow outward.
Loving yourself is more than thinking you're beautiful or that you’re smart or whatever vain way love can be expressed....
Get Professional Help – Find Experts Who Build Confidence
If I spent time with you, I could easily fish out what you are an expert in. You may have degrees from college or years of experience in a line of work. You may be passionate about a sport or an activity and be able to run circles around most people with your expertise. What I can also guarantee is you are not an expert in all things. Neither am I.
There are times when I am the expert and times when I need one. You do too. For the most part, we need to seek an expert every time we:
The same is true for the aspects of confidence and beauty that we aren’t experienced or expert enough to manage.
Let’s talk beauty-
Do you dislike something about your body or image? It’s normal and healthy to want to minimize or even change things that are not quite the way you’d like. From taming wild eyebrows to defining...
If you’re not in the habit of loving yourself, you may not know how. Loving yourself is the same as loving others. It comes from a genuine place of caring and empathy. We love others that we like and believe bring something to the table - relationship wise.
We may care for others and even like others, but we love and nurture those we have close bonds with. No relationship should be closer than your own relationship with yourself. So, how do you love yourself properly?
Here are three exercises that will help you love yourself more and make it easier to express that love:
Forgive Yourself- Forgiveness is a big deal. Before we can forgive, we must have a graceful heart that desires change and acceptance. Forgiving others is sometimes easier than forgiving ourselves because we are taught you can forgive a person without accepting what they did to offend you. So, how do you forgive yourself while...
It would be boring if we all looked the same. You are unique, and you are beautiful. There are others who think so, too. We don’t all have to fit the mold of what media tells us beauty is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If I were to ask you to define beauty and line your thoughts against mine, we may find that we see beauty in different things. That’s how it is supposed to be. It is supposed to be about unique preferences, which have nothing to do with common standards.
What you love, how you look, and the ways you express yourself are unique. They are a culmination of your experiences, your preferences, and your style. Being comfortable in your own skin and embracing what makes you different is an important aspect of having confidence.
Friendships- People who are confident with their unique style and preferences are easier to be...
Have you ever heard the term ‘Fat Thin’? This is the term used to describe someone who may be considered thin by beauty standards due to their physical size but their body fat versus lean muscle indicates they have too much fat. Since beauty is attributed to size in our culture, it is possible to be beautiful and remarkably unhealthy.
Our health and our beauty are not the same thing. Beauty is the physical attributes that are attractive. Health is the inner state of our physical being. Closing the gap between the two is ideal. Having a healthy and beautiful body, mind, and spirit is something wonderful to strive for.
They key is an equitable balance of focus between the two. Let’s take a look:
Focus on health by
Focus on beauty by
Can we have an honest conversation? Sometimes you aren’t confident because you need to make some changes. I know that might be tough to hear, but it is important to be willing to look at yourself with a grace-filled heart and be honest about what is killing your confidence.
Common Confidence Killers:
No matter who you are, you aren’t going to feel confident all the time. Hormones flare, weight fluctuates, and life gets hard. That’s ok. It happens to everyone. The key to off days is having a plan to fall back on when you don’t feel your best. Your plan is essential to living your Intentional Life. The routines and habits you build following the Indian Proverb, A House With Four Rooms, also becomes a foundation for those "off days."
Maybe you're having a day where nothing in your closet makes sense or someone cuts you off in traffic or your spilling your latte in your lap. No matter the reason, sometimes you just don’t feel pretty or confident. Self-care is the key to managing the emotions that come with not feeling your best. It is important to see it is just a moment in time and the emotions and the situation will change.
If you train yourself to...
Confidence is sexy. Yes, clothes, being polished and put together is also sexy, but it is the inner confidence and beauty that makes you shine. Your confidence is contagious and puts people at ease. It shows them who you are and leaves them feeling inspired in your presence. So, what can you do if you don’t have the confidence you want?
Boosting your confidence will make your inner beauty shine. Boosting your confidence will change the game when you don’t feel like your intentions match the impact you have on others. Boosting your confidence is the what it takes to make a great impact; let’s take a look at how to make that happen.
Ten Confidence Boosters Anyone Can Do:
Practice in the mirror- This is going to feel very weird at first. A surefire way of boosting your confidence is looking at yourself in the mirror and complimenting and speaking to...
What do you think is beautiful? Do you have a favorite color, style, or motif? How do you define beauty? Those are a lot of questions, but they are important ones. How you define your own beauty and finding what makes you feel beautiful is a key component to being confident in your own skin and with who you are.
Sometimes we are so busy with our lives that we lose track of what we think is pretty. We are bombarded by external messages and influenced by opinions and we forget to check with ourselves about what we truly think is beautiful - inside and out. This can affect us in many ways.
Take a look at how not knowing what you prefer can derail your confidence:
You lack confident opinions- Following trends or the opinions of others can lead to not having any of your own. Not only does this strip down your confidence, it makes you look unattractive. People are drawn to...
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